


Spidey Claus (It's Crimis)

by clever_and_relevant_username



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Basically a little peek of most of the Avengers on Christmas eve, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Christmas fic, Crack?, Cute, Everyone Is Alive, Fluff, Holidays, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a sweet kid on delivery duty, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, Referencs to the 'It's Crimis' vine, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, a bit ooc but it's ok, kind of a crack fic?, merry chrysler, vine, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21949660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clever_and_relevant_username/pseuds/clever_and_relevant_username
Summary: Peter delivers Christmas presents in an unconventional way.  Nobody really sees it coming.
Relationships: Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Guardians of the Galaxy Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Avengers Team, Tony Stark & Guardians of the Galaxy Team, Tony Stark/Relaxing for a change, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Comments: 7
Kudos: 125





	Spidey Claus (It's Crimis)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidayz children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Have fun with this little peek into what the Avengers do on Christmas eve

Stephen Strange was having a good day. It was Christmas eve, and everything was calm and in order. Outside the Sanctum, snow fell peacefully, covering the world in a white, sound-absorbing blanket. He was just about to sit down with a cup of tea and some ancient texts when he heard a crash from down the hall. He sat up, the cloak of levitation wrapping around him protectively. There was another crash. The sorcerer supreme stood and moved towards the door slowly, cautiously, carefully, his hands in position, Tao Mandalas at the ready. He waited for a moment, listening. There was no sound. Stephen lowered his hands; maybe he had imagined the noise. He turned to sit back down when there was another crash. He was officially not imagining things.

Stephen kicked down the door, summoning the Tao Mandalas again. Then he heard it. Tap, tap, tap, in rapid succession, as if something was crawling across the roof. Then he saw it. Something- no, someone was creeping across the ceiling. Faster and faster, he had only a moment before it came into view.

“iT’s CriMis!!!” Peter Parker screeched as he flung a wrapped box at Stephen strange before crawling back into the shadows like the gremlin he was.

Stephen was taken aback, grabbing the gift at the last second. What… what just happened? He looked back into the shadows, but Spiderman was nowhere to be found. The sorcerer blinked and looked at the box in his hands. The tag had his name on it. Huh. Weird. He walked back into his room and placed the box on his desk, going back to his texts and his tea a moment after. Was it a strange way of delivering presents? Yes. Was it the strangest thing that happened that year? No. As he opened the first tomb, he decided that he would open the gift later. Later, in this context, meaning tomorrow (which was fine. Tomorrow was, in fact, Christmas.)

Thor was relaxing for a change. It was pretty nice actually. He was with his bros, the Guardians and his brother, Loki, flying around in space, going on adventures. It was a nice change of pace after defeating Thanos. He only wished his other bros, the Avengers could be there with him. That was when he heard it. A crash from somewhere in the ship. He initially ignored it, chalking it up to his mischievous brother causing some mischief mischievously. That theory was disproved, however, when Loki walked into the room, reading a book. 

“Brother, was that you?”

“What?”

“The crash, was that you?”

“No.”

Thor was very confused. Maybe it was one of the Guardians? Then they heard it. Tap, tap, tap; the sound of something crawling towards them at a rapid speed. The boys got ready to fight, staring into the darkness with battle-ready stances and aggressive expressions. Then, out of the shadows came Peter Parker, crawling along the ceiling.

“MeRry cRisiS!!!” He cried as he threw a wrapped gift to each hero. Before Thor or Loki could do anything, Peter crept back into the darkness and out of sight.

“What… what was that?” Loki asked, confused for once instead of causing the confusion.

Thor looked at the box in his hands, “I believe that these are Christmas gifts from the Man of Spiders!”

“Yes, but how did he get into space?”

Thor shrugged. It didn’t really matter to him. He was just happy to see one of his Avenger friends, “We should open these tomorrow, brother! The twenty-fifth of December!”

“Alright, alright.”

Somewhere else on the ship, Star-Lord screamed like a girl, “WHAT THE HELL??????????”

“Ah, it seems that the Man of Spiders has visited the other Guardians!”

“Yes, brother. Yes, it does.”

Captain America was enjoying his post-Endgame life. He had moved into a cozy apartment with Bucky and Natasha (who was, in fact, alive), and began a normal civilian life. Just last week, the three of them had decorated the apartment for Christmas. Everything was lovely, and calm, something the three deserved after a life of hardships. Steve had just sat down with a book when he heard a crash from somewhere in the apartment. That was odd, Natasha and Bucky were out shopping. He should have been the only one home. Steve stood up to investigate, taking a step back when he heard another crash. It was silent for a moment. Steve approached the hallway, where the crashes had come from. Then Steve heard another sound coming from one of the bedrooms. Tap, tap, tap. It was an odd noise, almost as if someone was crawling throughout the house. The super-soldier got up to when out from the darkness burst Peter Parker! Again! The spider boy crawled across the ceiling, yelling, “MeRrY chRySLer!!!”

The teenage superhero then threw three gift boxes at Steve, before sprinting back the way he came. Steve, needless to say, was not expecting that. He knew Peter was a bit quirky, but this was full-blown weird. Whatever. He looked at the boxes in his hands; one bore his name, the other two had Bucky and Nat’s names written on them. Well, that was… an experience. Steve put the gifts under the tree before turning and looking back down the hallway. He walked down it, and into the bedroom

He’d have to tell Nat and Buck about that when they got home. For now, though, it was time to relax and read.

Bruce Banner was in his lab because science never sleeps and doesn’t take holidays. The man was bent over a microscope, when he heard, from the other side of the lab, an odd noise. Tap, tap, tap. It almost sounded like… like someone was walking on the ceiling. The noise grew louder. Bruce squinted, trying to make out what was making the noise. The other side of the lab was dark, visibility was low, but Bruce could just barely see a vague shape crawling towards him. And lo Peter Parker emerged from the shadows for the fourth time that night. Not that Bruce knew that. In fact, Bruce was quite shocked when he saw Peter clinging to the ceiling like an actual spider. So shocked that he almost knocked over his microscope.

“Oh shi-! Peter, what are you doing?”

“HaPpY cRiSis!” The boy yelled, before gently lowering Bruce’s gift to the floor with a web, He probably would have thrown it, but Bruce’s hands were full in making sure that his microscope didn’t fall, and Peter respected science. After lowering the gift to the ground, Peter crawled back into the shadows.

“Ok, bye Peter! Happy holidays!”

“Bye Mr. Banner!”

Bruce set the microscope upright and walked over to the gift on the floor. He picked it up, trying to avoid the sticky webs covering the surface. The scientist hummed to himself before placing the box on his desk. Maybe science could learn to take a holiday. And a nap.

Clint was finally home with his family. He was so thankful to be with them again, barely believing that they were real. Their Christmas Eve had been standard for a family of five, and honestly? Standard was what he needed right now. Normal was good. Normal was safe. That’s why, when Clint heard a strange tapping noise coming from downstairs, he grabbed the nearest weapon and crept downstairs. The tapping continued, growing louder as Clint descended the stairs, making his way to the living room. In the dark, Clint could make out something on the ceiling, lowering smaller somethings to the floor below with yet another something. This was not okay. This something, or rather these somethings were a threat. Clint turned on the light and yelled out a battle-cry while throwing his weapon at the something on the ceiling. Peter Parker fell off the ceiling for the first time that day/night.

“h-HaPpY CHrYsLer!”

Clint could only blink as Peter threw a wrapped gift at him and crawled out the nearest window. Clint was stunned. That was not what he had been expecting. You could say he did not see it coming. At the very least, Peter wasn’t a threat to his family. He walked over to the tree and bent down, looking at the smaller somethings Peter had lowered to the ground with what must have been webs. Four new gifts sat around the tree, a bit sticky, but still good. They were addressed to his kids and his wife. He checked the box in his hands, and sure enough, it had his name on it. Clint smiled as he placed the gift under the tree. No, Peter was not a threat to his family, Clint thought, turning and walking back up the stairs. He was just a sweet kid on delivery duty.

Peter Parker was creeping along the ceiling of Wanda and Vision’s new home. These were the last gifts he had to deliver before he could report back to his boss. He was quite proud of himself. He had managed to deliver all of the Avenger’s gifts in one day, including the ones in space! It was pretty impressive if he did say so himself.

As he got closer to Wanda and Vision, he could hear them speaking over the tap, tap, tap of his limbs moving along the wall. He took a moment to listen to their conversation. He recognized Wanda’s voice, “So, I was thinking, maybe we could spice things up in the bedroom…”

Yeah, maybe he should just put these under their tree.

Tony Stark was in hiding. After the fiasco that had been Endgame, he just wanted a break. He wanted a chance to raise his kid, a chance to be with his family. And be with his family he did. Earth’s best defender was relaxing in his home, watching the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree in front of him. His wife and daughter were both asleep and Rhodey was in the guest room. Tony and Pepper had everything set up for tomorrow. All he needed to do now was wait. Then he heard it. The tap, tap, tap of feet on the ceiling, and the thud of someone jumping down. 

“Mr. Stark! I did it! Everything’s been delivered!”

“Keep it down kid, Morgan’s sleeping.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Tony nodded to the spot next to him on the couch, “Take a seat, tell me how everyone’s doing.”

The Spiderling walked over and plopped down on the couch and explained his day to his mentor, “Well, Dr. Strange is doing well, he was reading something when I threw his present at him. Wong is doing well too, he was listening to Beyonce. Uh, Thor and Mr. Loki are still adventuring with the Guardians, and they’re all still alive and healthy, so that’s nice. Um… Cap looks like he’s doing well, he seems relaxed. I didn’t see Ms. Romanov or Mr. Barnes though. Mr. Banner was doing some science things, but I think he took a break after I left. Mr. Barton threw something at me.”

Tony, who had simply nodded along up until this point snorted, “He would do that, wouldn’t he.”

“Well, he did.”

“What about Vision and Wanda? Are they okay?”

Peter paled, “Uh yeah… they-they were asleep! They were asleep, when I got there, ha, ha.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, “Yeah. Asleep. Okay.”

Peter nodded frantically, “Yep! Asleep!”

“And you did the gremlin-demon thing for everyone else?”

“Yep! It was great, you should have seen their faces!”

Tony smiled, “Nice work kid.” The retired hero reached into his pocket and pulled out twenty dollars, “As we agreed.”

“Thanks, Mr. Stark!”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem kid, just don’t let Happy know. You should get home, it’s getting late.”

“Ok! I’ll see you tomorrow Mr. Stark! Merry Christmas!”

Tony waved goodbye as Peter crawled out the window, “Merry Christmas, kid.”

The retired hero waited a moment before standing and walking towards the window the kid had left through and closing it. It was a shame that he couldn’t see the rest of the Avengers on Christmas, but he needed a break, and he was supposed to be dead, so sending gifts via Spiderling would have to do. Tony leaned an arm against the window and watched as snow began to fall. Everything felt peaceful for the first time in a long time. 

Tony exhaled before closing the drapes, unplugging the lights of the Christmas tree, and walking upstairs. For a moment, he stopped and leaned in the doorway of his daughter's room before entering. She was sleeping peacefully, unaware of the horrors that lived in the past. She was the hope of the future. Tony kissed his daughter’s forehead, “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

Tony left his daughter’s room and entered his bedroom, trying to be quiet to avoid waking his wife, “Good night Pep.”

And with that, Tony closed his eyes and got some well-needed rest. Tomorrow was Christmas, and it would probably be a good day.

**Author's Note:**

> MeRrY cRiSiS CHILDREN!!! I wish you all a nice break, and hope that you get some time to relax and do what you love!!! I hope you enjoyed this little fic thing. It wasn't fantastic, but it was made with love, and that's all that I can say. 
> 
> Have a Happy Holiday y'all!!
> 
> -Clever Username


End file.
